The awakening of flowers

When the music is replaced by the chorus of birds singing the lullaby of my surroundings and my eyes are opened into sunset, the cool breeze welcomes me back to the typical summers evening like an old friend. Whereas the harsh reality notifies me of its presence with a short sharp dagger through the heart which makes me gasp once.
As a solid drop of clear liquid acid makes its way down this smooth surface a soft touch strokes across my cheek to dismiss the pain.
To sooth me, unfamiliar textures greet my lips with a kind embrace forcing my heart into a vast pace.
The sensation calms me momentarily. But once it stops the threshold is back. My heart steadies to its uneven pace once again. Although I know this can’t last forever the ache in my weak body can be so overwhelming; I need to find a way out of this maze of misery.
The humour of being trapped is starting to wear off and laughter is turning into tears of sadness.

After all one day the last petal shall fall and no rain shall follow its path, new life not created. As was shown in a similar situation last spring. Salty pearls shall be shed from the eyes of whom was left behind, wondering what could have been, how they could have helped when really there was no chance of saving me.
But until then, anger and fear will continue to fill the gaps where smiles and happiness were intended. People say it all works out in the end but I’ll get back to you on that opinion when I’ve got my verdict.
My life’s experiences have been limited so far as I am only young of age. Only time will tell how long I have but when it happens it will surely have a good enough reason for taking my life at this time. I hope.

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But not

I am looking for someone to listen but not speak, but to understand. It seems I ask for a lot, however to me it is only a tiny amount I could dare to require.
I feel as though I am walking on thin ice when talking to you, as though you are as fragile as a strand of silk freshly made for a special occasion. I should be comfortable around you. Our past is dragging me behind and some times it even forces me to regret my indulgence. Even though a lot of time has flown across my eyes the memories are still fresh, with me constantly wishing them to leave. A solution for this to stop is for me to forget. Not such an easy task as you’re name is now included when the term ‘friendship group’ is mentioned. Memories are brought to the surface of the simmering fluid that is gathering in my head when I look into your eyes. No more can be added to this pool because I shall sooner or later drown in my own sorrow but I need your help to stop these things as they are starting to upset and overpower everything. Help me if you can but first you must understand. Quickly I realise you don’t feel the same, and I’m just another brick in the wall.
However for the moment, I am stable. My most recent relapse is healing once again and today calmed me a lot as lounging in comfortable clothing listening to what other people have to say, not worrying about my own thoughts, is apparently soothing to me. It’s difficult to give a reason for this but I can say it has smothered my own misery and left me with fear of the emotions breaking the translucent barrier. The daunting feeling of the mist clearing and uncovering what I am worked up about deep down inside scares me. For the aims of today were to relax and clear my mind for nothing is truly necessary to over thing so much as I am about these the things. And I can temporarily confirm this aim to be a success but the day isn’t quite over, is can’t tell what else is going to happen.

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